Just when I feel like I'm regaining control, I feel it all slipping away again...

Lewis Black = Best Comedian Ever.

"Jesus Christ is everywhere in Italy.  He's like the Coca-Cola of Italy."

I hate having this "double life".  Not in the sense of being two different people, but in the sense of my emotions.
When I'm at home or around my family I get this feeling of being uncomfortable and awkwardness, yet when I'm with my friends I feel so welcome and can just relax and be myself.

I don't even go home to see my family anymore. 
The only reason I come home is to either deal with legal matters or to see my friends. 
I wish I could tell my family how I feel but I just can't. 



p.s. Joe Burak, you are amazing. I really appreciate your help over break, it really means a lot to me.

And bad things just keep on coming...

I love the feeling of an uncontrollable downward spiral...

I feel so hopelessly alone right now...
Each day seems like it's becoming harder and harder to get through.
I don't know how much more of this I can take.

How bad is it when you have to subpoena your own family for their bank account records?

So long Grimshaw family.  I hope you spend the rest of your sick lives regretting what you did.  The game you have been playing is quickly coming to an end.  You will never know how more you lost besides money and material possessions. 

You will never:
    -Be at my wedding
    -See your grandchildren/nephews again
    -Meet my children
    -See me at any family associations what so ever
    -Be at my college graduation
    -Talk to me again

The only time from now one that I will even acknowledge your existence is when I take back what is rightfully mine.

mood: determined

I don't know how much longer I can control myself for...

I find myself asking the same question over and over again.."Am I doing the right thing?"

mood: uncomfortable

It's been the craziest month of my life

I've reached my breaking point

So I plan on getting another tattoo in the very near future, and I was wondering what the general opinion is on this one (it is my family crest).  It would go on my other shoulder blade and be about the same size as my current one



On another note, winning $103.50 on a 25 cent slot machine at Casino Windsor was pretty amazing.

For all of those that know my current situation, I am apologizing in advance for anytime I get all sad/angry/upset/whatever else.   Just know that I don't mean to be hurtful or anything, but days will come around where I won't want to be around anyone and will be in a bad mood. 

It will be greatly appreciated if everyone just tries to help keep my spirits up.  Even the small things will help.

Also, I have realized that I will not be around a lot over the summer.  When I am around hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

Going on 3 weeks without any good news...

http://pics.obra.se/1170191653865.jpg  <---- and on a different note, I don't even know what to say about that.  All I know is that I should buy a house next to this person.

No one should have to deal with this.  It's to much for anybody, and unless you've been there before you have really have no idea what it's all about. 

I see people living in their little fantasy worlds where nothing is wrong and i pity them.  Watching people complain about stupid insignificant stuff makes me think of how much they'll have to grow up. 

Maybe it's just the situation I've been in for the past 2 weeks.  But I know that I'm an adult now and that in the near future I may have to make decisions that not only effect me directly and in the short run, but ones that will effect everyone and over perhaps a life time.  And I know that most people my age are ready to make those decisions.   Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.

Also continuing on this rant I've realized how I've come up with a new look on life.  Each day I plan on growing and learning from my mistakes of the previous day.  Essentially trying to become a better person everyday.      



"My what a good day for a walk outside,
I'd like to say we did it for the better of."

the hits just keep on coming...

because 11 is louder than 10

Say it now because you never know...never know

mood: numb